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WWE Monday Night Raw Rapid Reaction – Live Updates – May 13

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6:03

It’s Monday and we are less than an hour away from the go-home Raw for the Extreme Rules PPV this Sunday. Will Cena be able to overcome injury, will Dolph Ziggler be able to perform following a severe concussion and will we find out who is Kaitlyn’s secret admirer? Be sure to follow our live blog all night to find out!

6:07

6:41

Looks like Dolph Ziggler will be on the sidelines tonight but will be live-tweeting tonight’s Raw on Twitter. Definitely going to see what he has to say tonight.

6:43

I love Jericho and Fandango but I am over the whole dancing gimmick in WWE lately. Hopefully we will see some actual wrestling in addition to the prancing around tonight on Raw.

7:00

And we are live! Raw comes to you tonight from Tulsa, Oklahoma. I wonder if we will get a Jim Ross sighting tonight in his home state.

Fandango vs Jericho – Dance Off


7:04

Looks like Raw is kicking off with a little Dancing with the Wrestlers dance off. Glad they are getting this out of the way early. Plus Summer Rae makes me happy for some reason. This whole segment has to have Fandango sweating a bit as he clearly can’t dance for crap. I would be surprised if he even knew that he was named after an actual dance.

Jericho’s dancing partner is a 10/10. Would dance again. Wowza. Giving the edge to Jericho on this one, and her outfit is smoking hot. Maybe I will enjoy this segment a lot more than I thought!

There sure is a lot of talking in this dancing segment. Get to the action! #JerichosHotChick needs to trend on Twitter.

We have found Jericho’s hot chick on Twitter!

Besides the hot girls in the ring, this dance off has gone about as terribly as one could expect. Just awful.

Fandango leaves the ring after hurting Summer Rae while dancing and returns to attack Y2J. Fandango is all over the six time champion and whips him into the steel steps outside the ring. A “You can’t dance” chant starts from the crowd. Sick burn on Fandango I suppose.

And it was all a ruse! Summer Rae jumps right up from her injured ankle following the beat down. Pretty sneaky there Fandango. Almost as sneaky as this:

Ryback vs Zack Ryder


7:27

Well by the time I have this portion of the blog ready to go Ryback has already defeated Long Island Iced Z. Easy squash for the No. 1 contender for the WWE Championship vs John Cena this Sunday.

Tons of Funk vs Prime Time Players


7:34

We return from action to more dancing in the ring as Sweet T and Brodus Clay bust a move with the Funkadactyles. That’s exactly what this episode of Raw was missing – more dancing. It’s good to see the PTPs get some in-ring action finally. Tons of Funk are dominating before Clay is hit with Darren Young’s hair pick, allowing PTP to pick up the roll up win. Interesting win for the much maligned Prime Time Players. Might see the beginnings of a new feud here.

Teddy Long Announcement

7:42

Long comes out with a decision on the World Heavyweight Championship as Dolph Ziggler will be out for Extreme Rules on Sunday. Big disappointment there. Was looking forward to that match. Swagger and Colter claim that the WHC should be put around Swagger since he took him out. Mmkay, don’t think that’s how it works. Instead Ziggler keeps the belt and Swagger vs Del Rio will fight each other in a No. 1 contender match at Extreme Rules. Big E Langston will wrestle either Del Rio or Swagger tonight.

The opponent for Big E will be decided by popular vote. To vote you need to have the WWE mobile app… ugh. So dumb. How bout we vote on if we should have these stupid stipulations on matches anymore. I vote no.

Kofi Kingston vs Damian Sandow


7:52

Sandow comes out and announces he won’t be singing a song tonight. That’s a bummer. I loved his rendition of Randy Orton’s theme last week. Instead he says Kingston’s reign as US Champion will end soon. I love how Sandow now yells “Silence” to the crowd. Reminds me of the robot elders on Futurama. It’s odd that Sandow says the reign will be over soon since it is Dean Ambrose who will take on Kofi at Extreme Rules for the Championship. Will be interesting to see if The Shield will win their first gold in the WWE.

Kofi dominates the majority of the match and gets the win, looking strong heading into Extreme Rules.

Mark Henry interview with Josh Roberts


7:59

The announcers are doing a good job of telling us how a strap match works as Henry stands in the ring. Henry cuts to the chase and says he is gonna drag Sheamus’ carcass around the ring on Sunday. Can’t say I don’t believe him. He is a monster. This feud has seen tug of wars, whippings and Mark Henry pulling a semi; yet there has been little to no wrestling. Let’s get to it already!

Henry wants Roberts to put on the strap so he can demonstrate how he will dominate Sheamus. And, not surprisingly Roberts is quickly in a bad situation. Henry quickly hits all four corners and finally lets Roberts go.

Henry calls out Sheamus and here comes Lobster Head. Here comes another boring Sheamus promo. Henry wants him in the ring now and Sheamus decides to take him up on his offer. But instead of entering the ring he first grabs a strap from under the ring and they whip the crap out of each other with Henry jumping out of the ring first.

Henry has been pretty solid lately but Sheamus has bored me for a long long time as a face. Even before WrestleMania XXVIII for Sheamus. I’m hoping for an entertaining match between the two on Sunday but I’m not holding my breath.

Antonio Cesaro vs Randy Orton


8:16

In a rematch of an awesome match from Wednesday’s Main Event, Cesaro takes on Randy Orton. Finally it looks like we are going to get some actual wrestling on this wrestling show. Cesaro gets in some early offense here. It’s nice to see Cesaro actually getting the push he deserves as a credible wrestler. But instead of having a good, long match Orton hits an RKO out of nowhere and gets the win. Orton is being booked very strongly lately and I hope it is leading somewhere. Orton has been out of the main event for way too long now.

The Miz vs Heath Slater


8:25

The Awesome one is back! The Miz returns to the WWE ring after an extended absence after filming his most recent movie. It’s announced he will take on Cody Rhodes in the Extreme Rules pre show on Sunday.  After some early offense from The Miz, Slater takes over the action. Of course Slater makes a mistake and The Miz gets control of the match once again. He tosses Slater onto the other members of the 3MB and is able to get the figure four onto Slater for the victory.

Not the best match ever, but it was a good return for The Miz.

Team Hell No and John Cena vs The Shield


8:42

Now this one should be interesting. This will be a six-man elimination tag team match. There will be at least three pins in this one and I am really interested to see how it all will play out. This is a prelude to The Shield’s Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins taking on Team Hell No for the tag team championship at Extreme Rules. There hasn’t been this much interest in these titles in a long long time and I personally can’t wait for the match.

It will be Ambrose vs Kane to start the match. Kane gets the tag into Bryan and Bryan tags in Cena. Cena goes to work on Seth Rollins with the running bulldog. Cena doesn’t look too hampered from his injury. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as reported.

We go to commercial and it looks as if Ziggler might be in a little bit of trouble with the WWE for his live tweets tonight. He can always can’t that he forgot the rules for tweets!

We’re back from break and Bryan is all over Dean Ambrose before tagging in Kane. Ambrose is met with a big boot to the face.

Looks like we got a phantom voice from the back on the live mic. Kinda freaked me out a bit to hear Triple H on commentary for a few seconds there. I’ve totally lost concentration here. Looks like Ambrose has the upperhand on Bryan. Still three on three here. Ambrose kicks out of a big DDT from Kane. Still no falls yet ten minutes into the match. Kane is destroying The Shield on the outside of the ring and gets counted out as the ref reaches the ten count. Shouldn’t Ambrose also be counted out then? Odd.

And we get another commercial break.

We return to action and Ambrose and Cena are in the ring. Reigns gets the tag and does a Hulk smash in the ring. Rollins gets the tag and goes high risk but Cena kicks out at 2 (shockingly). Bryan gets the hot tag and he is flying around the ring like a madman. He gets the No lock onto Ambrose but didn’t realize a tag had been made and he is pinned by Rollins. It is now three on one vs Cena.

Wow, who would have expected this. Cena is all alone and gets the pin on Seth Rollins. The first time Rollins has ever been pinned. Ambrose is up for the AA but Cena gets hit with a Reigns spear and Cena is down. Reigns has been DQed for the interference. It’s down to Cena and Ambrose now and Cena kicks at 2 (again).

Cena gets the STF onto Ambrose but Reigns and Rollins return to the ring and attack Cena. The Shield has been disqualified and Cena wins. This is the first official loss for the trio. Cena is put up into a triple powerbomb to end the match.

Ugh. Of course they couldn’t have Cena be pinned. Even against an undefeated three man team. Super Cena at his best.

Ryback’s music hits and here he comes to take out a defenseless Cena. A “Goldberg” chant breaks out. Not fair to Goldberg. Ryback is no Goldberg on his best day. Ryback grabs a chair and attacks the bad ankle of Cena. This all sets the stage for a Super Cena sighting on Sunday as he overcomes the odds at Extreme Rules to retain the WWE Championship.

Ryback Rules!

Big E Langston vs Alberto Del Rio Jack Swagger


9:18

The fans were able to vote on Langston’s opponent tonight and they selected Swagger with 65 percent of the vote. I am very shocked by this vote actually. The smarks must have been behind this one as we now have a heel vs heel match, much to the chagrin of Mr. McMahon I’m sure.

This should be an interesting matchup between the two. They have been building Langston as an undefeated monster and Swagger needs to stay strong for Del Rio at Extreme Rules. They may have painted themselves into a corner on this one. Maybe Langston will win and force his way into the Extreme Rules match on Sunday.

We return from break with Langston dominating Swagger. The announcers seemed fairly stunned that Del Rio isn’t in the ring against Langston tonight. Not a good sign for ADR.

The crowd is having a tough time cheering for either guy in this one. We get another phantom voice from the back being picked up by the announcers mics. This is bush league and it makes me feel like I’m going a little crazy.

Swagger turns the momentum and is able to get Langston into a Patriot Lock but Langston reaches the ropes. Langston goes for a big move on the outside and misses and goes flying over the barricade. He doesn’t make it back in time for the ten count and loses to Swagger.

Del Rio attacks Swagger following the match and gets the crossarmbar on Swagger before Langston attacks Del Rio. Swagger attacks both but Del Rio reverses and is the last man standing upright in the ring to finish the segment. The crowd seems like they couldn’t care less.

I really was hoping for something different here, oh well.

AJ Lee vs Natalya


9:36

The Bellas and Kaitlyn are on the mic for this one, and that I am A-okay with. Kaitlyn gets another present from her secret admirer and I’m not quite sure what it is yet. The smart money is still on Hornswoggle for this one.

AJ Lee is playing tough to get as Natalya chases her in and out of the ring. Natalya chatches AJ and AJ looks knocked out outside of the ring. Natalya struggles to return AJ to the ring and gets an eight count.

AJ looks dizzier than Dolph Ziggler in the ring and it turns out she is playing possum again, quickly rapping up Natalya in a unique submission move called the Black Widow and gets Natalya to tap out. AJ wins again. Not a terrible match. The Divas are having a lot of good stuff to work with lately and I am excited for the AJ and Kaitlyn match on Sunday.

Triple H and Brock Lesnar Steel Cage Confrontation

20130513_RAW_Brock_TripleH_LARGE_L

9:48

Triple H makes his entrance and we get a shot of the steel cage slowly being lowered into place as we head to commercial. I can only hope this we be a contract signing inside the cage.

Triple H says nothing has been settled yet between him and Lesnar, but it will on Sunday. Hunter says for him to be good in the ring, he was taught he had to “learn to hate.” I’m sure this was his mentor then:

Lesnar and Paul Heyman make their way out after hearing Triple H’s promo and Heyman calls out Hunter for using the word “hate”. Goes on to say that Lesnar will be the one who will truly teach him the meaning of the word hate. At this, Lesnar and Heyman make their way to the exit but Hunter calls them back.

Triple H says that Lesnar is basically afraid of him because he beat him at WrestleMania. Lesnar can’t afford to lose once again to Triple H as both Lesnar and Heyman are in these fights to make money. Trips says Lesnar’s mystique will fly out the window if he loses again. Funny, I thought that happened when Lesnar lost two of his first three matches back in the WWE.

This is a good promo by Triple H, basically calling out Lesnar and saying he isn’t as bad as he thinks he is. Lesnar doesn’t like being called a bitch and makes his way to the steel cage and enters into the ring. I wouldn’t want to be in their with either of these men alone. The two go at it and Lesnar is manhandling Triple H as Lesnar yells for the refs to shut the door to the cage. Triple H gets the upper hand and hits Lesnar repeatedly before tossing Lesnar though the cage door.

Lesnar thinks better about reentering the cage and leaves with Heyman while Triple H taunting him from the top of the cage as Raw goes off the air.

Final Thoughts

Not the greatest Raw ever tonight, but there were some bright spots. I actually really enjoyed the Triple H and Brock Lesnar encounter to close out the show. I have said it before and I’ll say it again here – I am more excited for Lesnar – Triple H 3 than I was for either of their first two matches. I also really liked The Shield match tonight, besides the finish. I was disappointed to see them lose their first match. Somewhere Goldberg is popping a champagne bottle like the 73′ Dolphins do every year after every NFL team finally loses a game.

I am pretty pumped for the Extreme Rules PPV this Sunday. I will be doing a predictions article soon and we will discuss it on episode 14 of Podcast of the Immortals on Wednesday, so be sure to look for that!

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